Well, I actually had a blog topic on my mind for weeks, but God had something else he wanted me to share at the last minute. So, the blog about identity will have to wait or it may never get written at all. It is up to the Big Guy. So, as I sat down at the keyboard now a day before the due date, and looking at a blank word document, God started speaking to my heart and I was compelled to share this for all the momma’s this may reach, and also the Daddy’s and the Grandparents, but I am writing this from the perspective of a momma.
Healing & truth are the pinnacle when praying for almost any circumstance for myself and others. Truth has the power to expose what dares to cross its path, and healing is the cleansing of things that do not belong. I have come to know the substance of those words will cover a multitude of heartache while roaming upon this earth.
This was brought to mind at a time when I could not utter one more word of prayer while asking, and asking, and asking, and receiving not. It was for someone I loved dearly and the burden of the circumstance that also shadowed my being. I was overwhelmed, and my eyes leaked with sorrow because my heart was broken. Why can I not have what my heart desires? I concluded, if I wanted to change to come in my direction and my loved ones, I had to start with myself. My first prayer was Lord reveal the hearts of men and start with mine. When down deep I was thinking yes this is what they need, but when I said those words, I knew immediately it was not about them. Something was encroaching upon me and brought forth things my mind had conveniently forgotten, but my spirit magnified, and with that blinding high beam, like when you meet a car in the dark of night and they hit you with the brights. I needed to repent!!! For about the next hour on my knees with my head hung over the tub in my bathroom, exposing the truth for the purpose of cleansing the soul I felt a release of the spirit. It was POWERFUL!!!
After it was over, I understood that I had to be aware of anything that may hinder my spiritual growth and render me ineffective with my witness. How can I lead by example if I only lead them into my darkness because of my desire and the need to get rid of the pain I felt in the situation? I feel most of the time as a Christian we fail to see how much our spirit influences those around us. We can say all the right words and do all the right things, but if our spirit cannot witness, we are of no use to His Kingdom. That is how God gets His work done by the spirit of His followers fellowshipping with one another and being of one mind and body. After this prayer, my discernment increased tenfold. God will bless and protect his own, but we must be diligent and keen in the spirit.
I also came to understand, that what I thought were unanswered prayers, were a work of prayer in progress over time. I will never forget as I was praying and pleading, I said God, I have done everything you asked of me, why can I not have the desires of my heart? As plain as day, He said, I am no longer waiting on you, I am waiting on them. I have thought about this quite a bit over years and how I have waited, and waited, and waited, and then finally that specific prayer was answered. The truth was revealed, and healing took place, just as I had asked in prayer, imagine that! Living in this world we have been programmed for instant gratification, but we serve a God that has no deliberate thought of time.
As situations have presented over the years, I pray the same prayers, but most recently I became very discouraged. I was taught a valuable lesson this past week. I was reminded as I was years ago, God hears my prayers and God is answering my prayers. From day one when my prayer is uttered God is working, and the truth is ugly and healing hurts, but it takes every step, every stumble, and every fall of every day of my loved one, and I witness this and get angry because God is not answering my prayers. We are all especially sensitive if it involves one of our children as in my case. We want God to just heal them and make it all better, like mommas do when we blow on a scrape to take away the sting, and add some ointment, put on a band-aid, and seal it with a kiss, all better. We fail to recognize true growth that will only come when they end up in the same place, on their knees with their head hung over a tub exposing the ugly truth and the pain of healing on the journey to repentance. How selfish I was to want to rush God when he never gets it wrong when taking as much time as we need. We are the ones who prolong the agony because of being out of His will, not Him. When we see loved ones hurt, we want it to stop immediately. We would walk through fire to make it stop! God has already taken away the need for us to do this when he sent His son to die for us. Us momma’s just needs to let go, but sometimes that is like asking a toddler to give up a favorite toy. We are stubborn, we love with all our might, and we want what we want right now!! This is for the mommas out there. Whatever your child is going through know that as much as you hurt for your child and love your child, no hurt and love compares to what God feels for your baby.
As a believer in Christ, I encourage you to say this prayer below. For me, this released any power I thought I had over any situation and gave me peace in knowing that even though God does not need my permission to do anything, I freely gave it to Him, and it does matter to Him. That is when we step aside and let God be God and see Him in all His glory and watch His hand-make things right. I recently heard these words from the Lord. He said, you have prayed, and I have heard you and I have made away, now it is up to him. I stand in faith in God’s promise that if our children are saved, God will heal them, if not here on earth, then in heaven. I have come to that resolve, so whatever it takes Lord give me the strength to endure and for your will to be done.
I pray, Lord, reveal the hearts of men and start with mine, truth, and healing are what I desire from you, and reveal to me what my carnal mind has forgotten but my spirit has not. Give me discernment so my spirit may witness to others through You and not of me. Give me the endurance and faith to trust in Your healing, trust in Your truth, and trust in Your outcome. In the precious name of Jesus, Amen.
True healing begins when we forgive those that have hurt us, and as we forgive and stand before him in our repentance and in obedience, God will expedite the healing and our spiritual walk in Christ will witness to those in need of healing. This verse God showed to me is special. When I saw the 2Timothy it brought to mind a second chance, and when I saw the first verse that was revealed which was 2:22, my eyes lit up! My son’s name is Tim, and his birthday is 2-22. As I read further into the scripture I knew as God always does, He confirms His intent and presence.
2 Timothy 2:22-26
Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. 23 Do not have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. 24 And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. 25 Opponents must be gently instructed, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, 26 and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will.