The news is screaming that I need to prepare for death and the end of the world as illness falls upon America. There are political leaders pointing fingers at who is to blame and giving their opinions about what needs to be done (while filling bills with unrelated items that make we average, everyday, middle-class people shake our heads). I am a teacher going through an identity crisis as I sit at home and try to teach music online. So far I haven’t been scared. I feel God’s presence. I know He has a plan. But I have had a couple of meltdowns as I miss my students, going to church, a normal routine, and seeing friends.


Our oldest daughter recently moved to Murfreesboro and is about 2 hours from us. We are thrilled, as she is, for her new independence. Basically, as soon as she moved out, my mother moved into our open bedroom. Mom has some health issues, and we just feel more at ease having her with us. Life is good.


On Tuesday, March 24, Marcy messaged to say she was thinking of coming into town for the weekend to visit. My husband, Bill, and I questioned whether that was a good idea with the outbreak and the possibility of bringing germs to Mom. 


Moments later she texted: Never mind. My roommate has started showing symptoms and just got tested.


Yes, there was Mom panic. Yes, my first impulse was to run to my child and take care of her. Yes, I had a moment of fear. Yes, I cried.


But then…..the peace came as I called on my Heavenly Father for calm and direction.


1 Corinthians 14:33 says: For God is not a God of disorder but of peace, as in all the meetings of God’s holy people.


I could write a whole blog about feeling desperate to see my child (especially when sending her a thermometer and some Tylenol became next to impossible because no stores in town had any!). But I believe God wants me to bring to light the feeling He gets when we close connection with Him. God can reach us in the worst of circumstances, but the connection is much clearer and easier when we openly and longingly seek Him. His love is all about having a relationship with us. He desires to be closer to us. He longs to open our eyes to the things He wants us to see. He pours out Himself and His power and His wisdom. His Spirit fills us and calls us to dance with Him. But we need to be the open, willing vessels that accept His Spirit! When I close myself off and forget to pray, forget to praise, forget to thank Him for all of my blessings, that is when despair or fear or anger edge in and try to take control. Just as I was cut off from going to nurse my child and her roommate back to health by the very real possibility of bringing this illness back to my already frail mother, we can choose to cut God off as we try to handle things on our own, come to our own understanding, and live on our own strength. Good luck with that! I have found life is SO much better walking with the One who holds tomorrow in His hands!


Psalm 43:3-5: Send out your light and your truth; let them guide me. Let them lead me to your holy mountain, to the place where you live. There I will go to the altar of God, to God-the the source of all my joy. I will praise you with my harp, O God, my God! Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again-my Savior and my God!


Philippians 4:6: Don’t worry about anything: instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.


1 Thessalonians 5:17: Never stop praying.



I pray that we would keep communications open to you during this time of uncertainty. We know that you are a good Father. You love us. You are working all things for our good. Please watch over our church family, our homes, our friends, and our workplaces. Let Your Spirit fall fresh on us. Let us focus on You, your will, and allow you to overtake all the workings of our innermost. Know our hearts, our desires, and let them be directed to You and Your will. 

In Jesus name, we pray,


Emily Kilby
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