Today I read a statement.  “What you don’t change, you choose.”  What am I choosing? I get up every morning, and go about my morning routine.  You know the drill, shower, brush teeth, fix my hair, etc.  I go downstairs and pour a cup of coffee.  I then go sit on the couch and pull up my Bible app.  I share a verse on FB and Instagram and then I read the daily devotional from whatever plan I’m doing. 

 

      That’s it.  Done.  Then I play a couple games and either get ready for work or I decide what I’m going to do around the house.  Sometimes Kirk and I go and do something.  Run errands, go for a walk or drive.  Visit friends.  You get the picture.

 

      I find myself wondering why the relationship I want with Jesus is not reflected on what I have.  See above routine.  Where is my commitment to learn more?  Where is my need to look for it?  What am I lacking?  I’m lacking priority management.  I keep asking God for a deeper relationship.  He is all in.  The lack of depth is because of me.  

 

      I have continually put things before Him.  I could even say I have made idols out of certain things and areas of my life.  I have allowed Satan to derail me by pointing out all the things that aren’t right.  I have focused on those things instead of Who could deliver me from them.  Like Paul, I suppose that God could have placed a thorn in my side to keep me focused on Him.  To keep me focused on the fact that I can’t do anything without Him.  

 

      I have a hard time comparing myself to Paul in any way.  I think I’ll make him more of an example.  Despite the thorns, He kept pursuing Jesus.  He didn’t stop seeking that relationship.  He went so far as to be thankful for the thorn.  He knew it was what kept him focused.  

 

      So this is what I’m going to do.  I am going to put my phone down.  I am going to put my computer to the side.  I am going to commit to being diligent and purposeful.  What I am going to ask God for, are reminders and quickening in my spirit.  However, the work from my side needs to be stepped up.  I desire such a connection with my Jesus, that He is the first thing I desire upon waking and before I go to sleep.  I want it to be natural and automatic that I seek Him first in any circumstance.  Whether to worship in thanksgiving or to seek Him for understanding ,encouragement, or strength.  

 

      I choose to change.

Bonnie Smith
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